Each Friday, I would like to share a word of the week with you. Something that summarises what I’ve been up to, how I’ve felt and how life is generally going. I’d love if you’d share your own in the comments or even join in with the link up if you are a blogger. (You can find the details at the bottom of this post.) It can be so therapeutic to reflect on what’s been happening, good or bad. It will be nice to look back on these posts in the future too!
This week I have chosen the word Exasperated
Unfortunately my word for this week is not a positive one. The strain of lockdown is finally getting to me and I just feel exasperated this week. For three whole months I felt OK about having to stay at home and away from my family. Yes it has been incredibly difficult, but it has kept us all safe. For that alone the pain has been worth it.
Then, within just a few days, several friends announced to me that they had been breaking the rules. They explained that the pandemic has been incredibly difficult on their mental health and so they just decided to break the rules because it helped them to feel better. All of these friends are of course healthy and have the option to do relatively normal things like go to the shops. I just can’t help but get angry.
As I’m pregnant, I’m considered moderate risk. My parents are high risk, as is my Grandma who is staying with them. Members of Mike’s family are also very high risk and we potentially won’t be able to see them (other than from a distance) until a vaccine is made available.
I understand that we all have our own challenges. This is a blooming difficult time for everyone. I just can’t help but feel like so many people are walking around with blinkers on. Instead of considering the impact their actions might have on others who are more at risk of becoming very ill, their own needs are taking priority.
I’m so sorry to go on such a negative rant. I realise that we’re all doing our best to be positive. Sometimes life pushes your limits though, and I really appreciate having the space to express how I feel.
To help myself feel better I’m doing a few things. Firstly, I’m stepping back from social media. Avoiding the “I’ve only been to the garden centre ten times this week and I feel sad” posts can only be a good thing for me. I counted and I’ve been out the house 5 times since the middle of March. Three of those were to the doctor’s / hospital. Yes, I’m wild.
More importantly, Mike and I have agreed to be selfish and just focus on family. Checking in to make sure everyone is OK and making the occasional garden plans with his side of the family are all that we will concern ourselves with. That, and each other of course. We have a wonderful little bundle arriving in November and that should really be at the centre of our world right now!
You can read my last word of the week post here.
Follow this button to join in with the weekly Word of the Week Linky with Raisie Bay