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I could begin this post with loads of inspirational quotes like “your vibe attracts your tribe” and those sorts of things, but I’d rather keep this simple and relatable. The fact is that when you are surrounded by negative people you feel negative. When you surround yourself with positive people you feel positive. Mood is contagious and for those of you who are particularly sensitive like myself, this is especially true.
The impact of spending time with a “negative Nancy”
A couple of years ago a friend spoke to me about the theory that you become the average of the five people that you spend the most time with. You begin to reflect their mannerisms, their actions and their attitudes. Have you ever noticed yourself starting to use a phrase that a friend says a lot?
The very same thing happens with moods. We often absorb the feelings of our friends and family when we are with them. We all have that friend that is filled with energy. When we spend time with them we feel ourselves being lifted. Many of us also have that friend that has a habit of complaining about every little thing.
Over the last couple of weeks I have noticed myself feeling very down. I assumed I was just having a low period but then it occurred to me, a lot of the people around me have been very negative recently. On one occasion it was something obvious, a falling out between friends. Often it is something a lot more subtle, like a simple comment.
Don’t get me wrong. I am very grateful for my friends and family, they’re wonderful. As we’ve all grown however, our individual approaches to life don’t always match up. Once I became aware of this I became more tuned into which people bring out my more negative moods.
Surround yourself with positive people in your life
In an effort to combat it, I’ve been trying to be more strategic about who I spend time with and when. On days when I recognise that my mood is a bit fragile, I’ll do my best to avoid speaking to those who I know are negative. (I should be clear, when I say “avoid” I don’t mean in a rude manner, I’ll simply not pick up the phone to that person or make plans with them on that specific time.)
Instead I reach out to certain people in my life who always make me smile. Those who are in tune with how I’m feeling and now how to help lift me. Often this is in the form of my fiance bringing some chocolate home or my best friend reminiscing with me over the phone, but those simple acts make all the difference.
Make new friends who align with your character
I’ve also been actively trying to meet more positive and driven people. The blogging community comes to mind immediately here. I started writing back in June. I joined a handful of groups on social media in an attempt to learn more about blogging. What I actually found was so much better. A community. In the space of just two months I have met so many wonderful people who have the same interests that I do.
As I’ve gotten to know a couple of the bloggers in the community I have found my mood and my enthusiasm for what I do being lifted. I’m excited to get to work every day. I’m excited to chat and share advice and be of help when I can. There’s no competition amongst us, just support.
Whether you are looking to meet people who mirror your ideals or you would just like to bring some new friends into your life, find a community. Whether that’s at the gym, amongst other mums at the local coffee shop, on a business course or at the pub. Surround yourself with positive people.